Eurovision is actually a big deal because after we spent 1000 years killing each other we’ve decided to put our weapons aside and dazzle each other with our ridiculous singing performances, nice Russian grannies and gay Romanian draculas.
I think Britain could have just placed Tom Hiddleston on the stage and have him walking around and laughing for a couple of minutes and they’d have won
in eurovision it’s either acoustic ballads or dracula singing soprano with latex-clad gold-painted dolphin-dancers there is no inbetween
i remember when france gave the uk one point last year
and then graham norton said:
we built a tunnel to your country
MY DASH JUST ACCIDENTALLY GOT DEPRESSING
i went out to eat lunch with my mom and i forgot what a knife was called so i asked the waitress for “one of those things that you use to stab people with”
as far as i can tell from my dash there’s some sort of gay musical olympics going on that only europe was invited to
welcome to fucking Europe bitches LETS SING
at eurovision you either wear a long dress or latex theres no inbetween
if i die my funerals gonna be the biggest fucken party and you’re all invited
great, the only party ive ever been invited to and he might not even die
isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other human beings?
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